two weeks away

i'm getting closer to home. i'm anxious and am completely aware of what is laid down for me when i get home. i still have no legit job lined up. i have only enough money for two months on my own when i move out of my parents house again.
what i do have is much greater in comparison to what i don't yet have. i have a beautiful woman that is as much mine as i can have. i have friends that want to be with me when i go home. i have an interview set up with a dj company but i haven't heard back about a time confirmation.

now onto the inner me. i still cringe when i throw away plastic or aluminum instead of recycle even though i know it doesn't really matter. i haven't written poetry in months, and i've written a total of maybe 5-10 poems since january. i am not bothered by it.

my friend, sean and i want to start a band. he plays drums and guitar and knows his way around the keys. i don't have any typical band talents. i have an ear for many things, though, and i'm an ok dj. i can't imagine what we're going to sound like. sean and i are going for a kid a sound; distorted, electronic, dark (sometimes).

i'm planning on completing my time at tcc in the fall and spring then transferring to odu in the summer or fall. i say i'm majoring in journalism but i'm not exactly comfortable with it.

this may be an entry of complaints, but it makes me feel a little less jittery to type some of these things.

my life here has been extremely laid back even though i do wake up at 6:30 every morning. since january i've been staying up all night then sleeping from 9am till about 3pm. the nights are quiet and i prefer it to the day. i've met some friends my age, that i hang out with 1-3 times a week. i'll miss them when i leave here but not as much as my friends at home.

i don't feel like i've said anything important yet so i'll try harder to appeal to more than my sanity.

with this year in europe i've gotten more sick of the american lifestyle. mostly the big cars and fast food. all of the cars here are compact or midsized, in american terms. i've been keeping up with anti-capitalist news and movements and it makes me frown.

population control has been a recent and growing trouble within me. mr. smith's view on humans as a virus becomes more true for me everyday. whatever value religion has to me decreases in value every time fox news or glenn beck is mentioned.

i'm not sure how valuable this post is to anyone but i feel a little bit less sick after this.

English Girls

the stereotype is that they all dress slutty.
for the most part it is true. (this is what i've seen of amersham and chesham.
there are a few that dress cute.
but i have a feeling for most, it's unintentional.
there are no hipsters or indie gals, in comparison to what i've seen in the U.S.
no intellectuals or politically headed, again, in comparison to what i've observed in the U.S.
i haven't traveled much of the U.K. but i've seen enough to make a fair judgment in my mind.
the girls all just want to party and have a good time.
obsessing over skinniness more than what i'm accustomed to.


to blame(?):
America's influence through reality shows
our movies and our television.
our fashion shows and magazines.
also, i've noticed a less of a stress on education.
primary, secondary and higher education.

there doesn't seem to be quite as many cliques among the english.
it appears to be one big smudge of slooty, smiling girls.
yeah i made the word up because i'm trying to be as least insulting as possible.

the guys there are a different story.
maybe when i have the energy and care enough to write, i will do so.

England i love you, but you're bringing me down.

i've had two favorite bands in my life and one of them is my current favorite.

1st: Nirvana.

2nd: Radiohead.

i associate them with phase one and phase two of my life.

i still love Nirvana though.